The unpredictability of life has been an understatement during this pandemic. One day you’re buying groceries, the following week you’re bidding for toilet paper. As many times as I have watched episodes of The Walking Dead, I was not prepared to salvage everything my family needed before communities across the country shut down. These are unprecedented times as well as new territories for all of us.
As an educator and reflective practitioner, I have used this time to center myself and analyze how I feel in this moment. Before the pandemic, it was rare to have the time to think. I would spend most of my workweek conducting trainings, partnering with fellow educators and community stakeholders, investigating discrimination claims, facilitating workshops and anti-racism coalitions, managing my autoimmune disorder, teaching at a collegiate level, potty-training my toddler, talking to my husband in passing — you get the point, too busy to think.
This time has forced me to do something I have never done well: Slow down.
While adjusting to a new change in pace, many things have been placed upon my heart to process. I have pondered aspects of life that matter in this moment. And my reflections continuously circle back to the importance of human connections, leadership, vulnerability, and equity through a personal as well as professional lens.
Human Connections are Powerful
Physical distancing has not necessarily ceased social connectivity. However, for those who follow CDC guidelines, science, and medical experts, it has perhaps hindered ways of showing care and compassion. In solidarity with thousands across the country, I have missed the joy of anticipated weddings, funerals of cherished people, and have organized or participated in many virtual gatherings to celebrate milestones. Being immunocompromised also presents more parameters around the people you value. The restorative embraces from extended family and friends, have now transcended into long-term goals.
Plain and simple, I miss my people.
Neuroscience research conveys that we are wired for connection. We desire interactions with others and the basic need to belong. Relationships foster a sense of community. The circles we establish for physical and psychological safety often reveal many things about our own humanity. We insulate ourselves with others who affirm our authenticity. Human connections are not only important for developmental growth, but critical to our survival.
People matter. Relationships- healthy and joy-filled– matter. During this pandemic and beyond, I do not want to take human connections for granted.
Leadership
How often have leaders, supervisors, or managers inquired about your needs or well-being while working remotely or reporting to your respective job? Does anyone care about the countless things you are trying to juggle or figure out amidst this pandemic? Are the conversations with supervisors centered around your lived experiences or what you’re required to produce? Are leaders generally silent during this time or causing more harm than good? How many organizations amplify the notion that people come first, when in reality, employees or marginalized groups come last?
Whether on a local or national level, leaders across the country are making their values transparent. Some leaders have exhibited humanizing approaches, while others have exposed unsettling themes:
Profits over people.
Egos over equity.
Self-interest over safety.
White supremacy over the welfare of society.
Sciolism over science.
It has become clear that one’s title does not automatically correlate to leadership. There are people who will abuse their authority for personal wealth, comfort, or dehumanizing agendas. These title-holders are a detriment to society, frankly because they cannot even detect their own humanity. And despite titles, their actions ultimately define them as oppressors, not leaders.
We need leaders who are rooted in equity and justice. We need individuals who center people and actively work to eliminate systemic disparities. We need people who deliberately shift power and resources to under-served groups. We need leaders who make an investment in understanding the complex needs of their communities. We need leaders who are committed to engaging in proactive work, not reactionary decisions that support and protect only the voices of privilege.
Leadership matters. The disposition and response of a leader matters. Pay attention to who you endorse or acknowledge as a leader, and importantly, be cognizant of who benefits and who is harmed from their decisions.
Vulnerability and Self Care
Be courageous. Show vulnerability. Speak your truth.
In the last few years, I have been a part of many book studies and professional spaces where people have discussed the importance of vulnerability. Consequently, I have learned that moments of vulnerability- especially in the workplace– tend to become an episode of “when keeping it real goes wrong.” It is challenging to be honest when people are not ready to actively listen or accept the message. And if you’re a woman of color, good luck on not receiving a microaggression in exchange for your truth.
However, this time has revealed that I cannot internalize every lived experience. Things are not okay- yes, I said it– and it has been therapeutic to release emotions that are typically masked. I have shed tears, expressed frustrations, and wrestled with many thoughts that I would normally push aside to mirror the strength of my ancestors. And through this whirlwind of processing the weight of the world, I have learned a valuable lesson:
Being strong does not equate to the suppression of emotions.
Self-care is critical work for our health and well-being. I have not mastered the art of radical self-care, but this has been a powerful time to think about the components within my life that I need to preserve and the things I need to let go. As a person who holds many responsibilities, I cannot lose sight of the importance of self-accountability nor neglect myself. Health and emotional wellness matter.
Equity and Identity-Safety
In different capacities, I spend most of my time talking about equity, humanity, and liberation. Historically, our country was built upon principles that were not designed for all people. Policies, laws, and systems were intentionally constructed to perpetuate inequalities, leaving people to operate in structures steeped in racism, classism, sexism, and many other forms of oppression. The inequities that plague specific groups of people and various communities have existed long before stay-at-home orders. However, this pandemic has shined a light on many existing disparities which have heightened the call for action.
Equity is not a buzzword. It is not about a specific identity group or demonstrating random acts of kindness. Equity is “systems” work that requires us to alter the power dynamics that uphold disproportionalities and discriminatory practices. It involves a calculated effort to remove the blueprints of marginalization. Equity also involves ongoing, self-work — understanding our biases and social construction. Yet, importantly, it’s collective work.
During this time, many people may feel emotionally or physically unsafe. Resources may be scarce. People may lack accessibility to services and infrastructures of support. Anxieties may emerge from the lack of human connections and the loss of life. Some people may be experiencing different forms of trauma within their homes or a manifestation of new insecurities. And others may feel emotionally depleted while being consumed by the divisiveness of the world and disregard for human life. Everyone’s wounds are different and real.
As an educator, I also intentionally think about the emotional well-being of children. I listen to students who say, “I’m fine,” yet ponder how they are coping with conversations, scheduling changes, or the political climate in private thoughts. Personally, it has been incredibly hard to explain to my own child why the world around her is changing. Many children, including my daughter, are missing teachers and yearn to have a sense of normalcy within their classroom(s). Yet, with a critical lens, I also recognize the harsh reality that “normal” was not working for all students. Prior to the pandemic, many children at the margins may have felt emotionally unsafe, anxious, or devalued while operating in inequitable systems. Resources and opportunities for some students may have been scarce. Classroom conditions may have bred trauma. Insecurities may have manifested because children felt unseen. And some teachers were not as accessible as needed due to their biases and deficit ideologies towards specific identities.
Equity work requires us to acknowledge sociopolitical contexts, the barriers that prohibit one’s progress, and the structures that do not allow people to show up as their authentic selves. It should not take a pandemic to point out the need to reform systems. It should not take a pandemic to open our eyes to human suffering. It should not take a pandemic to recognize inequalities in educational systems as well as other industries. It should not take a pandemic to critically examine disparities that marginalized groups have conveyed throughout history. It should not take a pandemic to shift the focus on equity. And if it does take a pandemic to ignite awareness, ask yourself this: Why?
Liberation and being safe in our own identity matters. Equity matters. We all have a responsibility to act.
Looking Ahead
This pandemic is changing all of us in various ways. It is changing how we function in the world and interact with others. Many of us will need a space to exhale and grieve, engaging in our own recovery process. We will need time to heal and restore lost connections.
This historical time is a defining moment for humanity.
Let’s all take the time to reflect on how we respond and the story we want to tell when we can finally breathe publicly without a mask.
